Chapter 1: Nick

Meet Nick, World Champion f**kup full time, asshole, part time mall Santa, who hates Christmas, and with good reason. He’s stuck working on Christmas Eve, the worst day of the year to be working as Santa. It’s about to get worse, a child named Preston is about to make an impact.

title image text: "Saint" Nick and the Big F*ck Up. A santa claus hat sits on the N in "nick"
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  • Chapter 1: Nick

    Meet Nick, World Champion f**kup full time, asshole, part time mall Santa, who hates Christmas, and with good reason. He’s stuck working on Christmas Eve, the worst day of the year to be working as Santa. It’s about to get worse, a child named Preston is about to make an impact.

  • Chapter 2: Being Santa / Nick’s F*ck Up

    Being a mall Santa is hard work - harder than you might think. There's a lot to know, such as what not to eat. Nick learned on the job, a trial by fire, full screaming children, piss, and vomit.  And there was that brief time - the only time - when Nick actually liked Christmas, but he screwed that up, about as epically as you can!

  • Chapter 3: The First Patron Principle

    There is a unique flow to each day the mall. Anyone who has ever worked in a mall knows it, and how the first patron in a store sets the tone for the day, and at no time is the First Patron Principle more noticeable than during the Christmas season. Preston continues his meltdown, and his mother makes an unreasonable demand. Nick deals with the fallout of his f*ck up.

  • Chapter 4: Thanks, Real Beard Santa

    The Christmas season was the worst time of the year. As soon as the Santa Claus parade was done, Nick knew that on Monday, his torments would begin. It didn’t help that his mother insisted on taking him to get his picture taken with every mall Santa in town. He hated that. But there was that one Santa…. In the face of Preston’s mother and her unreasonable demand, Nick snaps. Filled with regret for missing out on his daughter’s life, Nick comes up with a plan to do something…good.

  • Chapter 5: Santa Is Feeding His Reindeer

    There was a time before Nick hated Christmas. A time before “little Santa Claus”, before the torments of his classmates. It was short lived, but it was wonderful; for that brief time there was magic in the world.

    So what makes a guy who has hated Christmas his whole life decide to be Santa at the local mall? Hope.

  • Chapter 6: “Saint” Nick Steps Up

    Storming away from the castle, still wearing his Santa costume, Nick thinks of someone he hasn’t thought of in years: his father, and comes to a realization about his mother in the process. Nick takes a big step, and makes a big change. And for him, Christmas will never be the same.

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